Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why did my bipolar girlfriend split up with me?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Is there a band whose members have been present for every one of their concerts?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why do Brits drive a lot more dangerously compared to Americans? Is there just no courtesy when driving in the UK?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Is it true that most women like alpha males?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do unattractive men assume that a pretty woman like me want them?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why does the UK Labour MP Jess Philips seem to be such a divisive figure?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Is The Last of Us Part 2 really as woke as people say it is?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

9 Things Women’s Health Doctors Would Never Do - HuffPost

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

How do you get a girl to like you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is truer than that which is true?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is your twin flame story?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Who is the beast of Revelation 13?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

— fri(end)s forever!

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane